Sunday, July 25, 2010

Day 5

Found this on a surrogacy website... Could not agree with it more!

I Will Be A Wonderful Mother

There are women who become mothers without effort,
without thought,
without patience or loss,
and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.

I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

-Author Unknown

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Day 1

Yay! I started my period. So the protocol right now is to get updated calendars tomorrow. I then start the birth control and Lupron shots a few days later. I have such mixed emotions. Happy because I have been waiting for this moment for 6 months and nervous because OMG it is all beginning. Shots, retrieval everything :)

Thanks to everyone who has been praying for us and praying for my period to start (no prayer is too small right?)

Stay tuned!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Hope and Faith

I am suppose to start my period tomorrow the 19th, praying it comes so that I can start my Lupron and other drugs. Jenni has been on hers for 2 weeks and counting and Thaddeus finished his Meds tonight. If I start tomorrow we are looking at Egg Retrieval possibly the week of the 9th and Transfer the week of the 16th :) All tentative dates of course.

In the mean time please pray for the following: Jenni's Migraines as a side effect from Lupron, for my period to start this week, our husbands as they continue to put up with crazy hormonal wives, Mackenzie and Mason Jenni's kiddos they are such troopers :)

Also can you please pray for me. Today was a tough day in missing Little Luke. I cry when I see women in the grocery store with their babies....However I watched a show on preemies tonight and I am SO THANKFUL that Luke did not have to suffer the way the majority of preemies do. For that I am forever thankful. I am feeling very thankful for my friends this week. I can't even begin to say how much they get me through my sad episodes and my friends that are pregnant. They have been so mindful of everything we have gone through, thanks ladies! I am very thankful for my relationship with my Lord I can't imagine getting through what we did and going through what we are about to with out Him and a little....Hope and Faith!

Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him. Psalm 37:3-5 & 7

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Here we go!!!

Exciting news!! I am on my third night of Lupron injections...and tonight is also my last birth control pill! With my last journey, I had the most HORRIBLE side effect (daily migraines with vomiting) from the Lupron - so I'm praying this time Lupron decides to play nice...but I'm not holding my breath!! I don't mind the insomnia, hot flashes, random crying spells, etc - it's just the migraines that are hard to manage (especially because you can only take Tylenol while on the IVF meds)

But, I'm SO excited and SO ready to help Thaddeus and Kristin get their baby/babies safely here...that I don't mind suffering through a few weeks of migraines. I know God has His hand firmly resting on me, and He won't give me more than I can handle. it's official - please start praying for my husband. He's the poor guy that has to live with me during all of these hormonal times. He truly is the wonderful man behind this soon-to-be pregnant belly!! And, while you are at it...pray for my kids, family and friends too... :)


Are we crazy?! Nah....

So...last Tuesday, we (Kristin, Thaddeus, Justin and I) met with the psychotherapist at Houston IVF! I had done all my psychosocial testing with my first surrogacy through Houston IVF, so I didn't have to repeat the standardized psych. testing that a gestational surrogate goes through before being approved to be a carrier. *Thank goodness because it was hours worth of computerized testing and meeting with the therapist*

Anyway, this meeting was basically to determine that we all realized and clearly understood what we were about to embark on....and we do!! The psychotherapist was very impressed that we had thoroughly discussed all the "difficult issues" and we all completely 100% agree!! She said she had an excellent feeling about our match...and wished us the best of luck on our journey!!