Some Updates

Little Westin

Sweet Tatum

Jenni @ 17weeks4days

So we went to the doctor last week and got a show of the twins! They even did a 4d ultra sound just as a treat for us :) The twins are doing great, moving along just perfect!

We have started the nursery, painting and putting things together for the twins! will post pictures during the "construction" process!

We have decided to change Westin's middle name to Westin Anthony (Anthony was a family name) Plus Luke is named Lukas Thomas Sharp and I want that name to be special for him :) So we have

Westin Anthony Sharp

&

Tatum Nicole Sharp

Please pray for Jenni and her morning (all day ) Sickness, for the twins continued growth, health and development and for our appt. with Dr. H. this week. She is the high risk doctor!!

Thanks!

Prayer Please!!

Wanted to ask for prayers! Jenni has been so sick the past couple of weeks. So much so that she was admitted on Saturday to Methodist for fluids. They have home health set up for her so that she will receive IV fluids while at home!

Please pray that she feels better and that she is able to actually eat. Please continue to pray for the twins as well!

Thanks!
Kristin

Some Treats!

Jenni @ 15weeks and 4days

Their is 2 in there!!

Another belly shot!!

Their "running errands, trips to target and hobby lobby" Car seats!!

Westin Bedding (Hayden was the example name not our pick)

Tatum Bedding!

This week has been a week of shopping! Got a lot of the big purchases done so that I won't stress over the next couple of weeks!

Just wanted to share some of the super fun shopping stuff :)

It's a BOY & a GIRL!!

The Picture we shared with Everyone!

Baby B: Girl!!

Baby A: Boy!!

IT'S A GIRL!!

IT'S A BOY!!

Their 1st gender appropriate gift from my parents!! Boots!

So the 12 week u/s was correct. We confirmed it this week at the doctor. Baby A is a BOY and Baby B is a GIRL! The apppointment was great. Jenni is doing great!! We had some routine tests down. The twins have a 1 in 2900 chance of down syndrome and 1 in 16,000 chance of trisonmy. Those are both below the normal average, so all in all great results!

For Thanksgiving we gave everyone in the family a picture. Thaddues family hasn't received their pictures yet because we are mailing them with their Christmas presents. But we did tell them. It was so exciting to share the news.

We have also picked out their names!!!

Baby A: The Boy is WESTIN THOMAS SHARP

Baby B: The Girls is TATUM NICOLE SHARP

Thanks for your prayers! Please continue to pray for healthy development and growth and for Jenni!!

-Kristin

We know the Gender!!

Baby B & Baby A
12 weeks U/S

Baby B & Baby A
Baby B is sucking it's thumb

Baby B

Baby A

Today was an Amazing day! Jenni made it to 12 weeks with the twins! What a miracle. Here are the stats below:

Baby A is measuring 12 weeks and 6 days
Baby B is measuring 12 weeks and 4 days

Baby A heart rate was 150bpm
Baby B heart rate was 159bpm

The ultra sound checked out fine so there are no indications via U/S that we should be worried about Down Syndrome or Trisonmy (Thank you God)

Dr. N. Said the twins look perfect, Jenni is perfect, everything is perfect.

We recorded the U/S and it was a good 15-20 mins long today. Baby B has my nose and chin and Baby A has Thaddeus nose and chin. Baby B was shorter legs and Baby A has really really long legs. Baby A was moving all around today including punching and kicking. Baby B was spinning around like crazy and actually sucked its thumb, melted my heart. I have watched the U/S three times already....probably could watch it for hours. I am so in love!

Lastly we know the Gender! We are not telling anyone yet because it is still early and there is always room for error. But lets say we are so sure that names, bedding and nursery colors have been picked out already :) Its so hard to keep a secret but so worth it. We go back to the doctor in 3 weeks and then see the high risk Dr. H. in 5 weeks......

The twins received their 1st gender appropriate gift today from my mom and dad I can't show obviously but they are precious!

Thanks for your prayers we so much appreciate them, please pray for continued growth and healthy development, for Jenni, and for me as I deal with missing Little Luke still!

Also can you please say a special prayer for my friend "C" they are dealing with some unexpected issues with their baby. Please pray for healing, wisdom, faith and strength! Thanks!


Let the shopping begin!!

10 Weeks

The twins are 10 weeks today. I fell in love all over again. Baby A was very active. I begged Jenni to drink a Dr. Pepper today so the babies would be active. Anyways baby A was dancing up a storm...it melted my heart. Baby B was much more laid back moved a little but was not as "showey" as Baby A. They already have personalities and I love it! Baby A is already over active like me and wanting to be the center of attention like Thaddeus. Baby B was so laid back like Thaddeus as he can be chill at any moment and kind of hid behind the scenes like me :) They are a perfect mix already! They are perfect and beautiful in every way. I will never forget today and watching them dance around!

Baby A: BPM 174 Measuring at 10W1d
Baby B: BPM 171 Measuring at 10w2d

They are both measuring a day or two ahead and I am A okay with that! Dr. N. said to expect them anytime between the end of April and Early May. Jenni had a "Due in May" shirt on and Dr. N. said we might want to add the line " but a strong possibility that we will be born early in April" Today was a great day, love seeing my babies.

Jenni got to do her last PIO shot, yay! I know she is so relieved but I'll let her share her side!

We see Dr. N in two weeks and will start looking for the Gender in 4 weeks :)

Thanks for your prayers!

-Kristin

Thankful

Jenni & I at the Steven Curtis Chapman Concert

The "Twins" at 8 weeks

Things have been kind of quiet around here. We had our 8 week ultra sound last Wednesday and the twins look great!

Baby A has a heart rate of 167 and baby B is 163. Baby A was measuring at 7 weeks and 6 days and Baby B was measuring at 8 weeks and 1 day! They are growing strong! We were released from HIVF back to Norton, yay. Won't have to drive to memorial city at 7:00am anymore :)

We went to the event Night with the Chapman's It was a concert of Steven Curtis Chapman in which Mary Beth Chapman was speaking at about their loss of their little girl Maria. It was so touching and could relate to so much of what she was saying. It was almost like I have known her for 10 years because of everything she was saying, feeling etc.

I started to reflect on the many things I was thankful for the people that have helped me and Thaddeus.

I am thankful for the story God has given me/us and the fact that he has entrusted Thaddeus and I to have "our story"

I am thankful for an amazing husband that on my weak days he is strong and continues to pray for me daily.

I am thankful for my family and their encouraging words & Love.

I am thankful for Jenni. God has trusted her to carry our twins and I am thankful that she is surrogate for the call and not for financial reasons. The majority of surrogates are in it for the money. I am thankful for the genuine friendship that Jenni and I have and knowing that my best friend is also the one giving me a Thaddeus a chance to have kiddos. and for Justin (he is a great support system to Jenni)

I am thankful for our church family and their continues prayers!

Thankful for my students: They can put the biggest smiles on my face (especially during Saturday production rehearsal) Sometimes they make me laugh so hard I cry.....I hope that my kiddos if girls are as respectful as the majority of them are.

I am thankful for my L&D nurses I had a St. Lukes ( Jennifer, Erin, Celinda, & Dawn) Those woman continued to check on me and still do. It makes such a difference when your nurses are fantastic as you are grieving through such a loss.

Dr. Carpenter for my amazing almost scarless C-section, Dr. Norton for her continuous support even has we approach our next journey and Dr. Hickman, WOW what an amazing doctor I can't explain how he does it all I can explain is that God has given him an amazing gift in giving couples the chance to have kids that couldn't before.

Lastly, I am thankful for My Little Luke! He was the biggest blessing to me. I could not imagine not having those short two hours but I will never forget them. Love you so much Lukas Thomas Sharp, you have changed me forever!

-Kristin

God's Love

Not a whole lot going on and I like it! I have seen so many twins out in public, just probably notice them more now.

A lot of my students have found out. One of my little ones asked me when I will have a baby again? Another in her class said she is going to have another baby thats her's but it will be in someone else's tummy :) But don't worry the lady will give them back to her, she can't keep them :) One other student asked me if my twins were here yet. I love their innocence. I love that parents are explaining to their kids our journey.

After Luke passed away I was so worried as to how the kids would be affected. I really do love my students and was worried for their emotions, confusion and so forth. So for parents to actually be explaining our journey, our story, what God has done in our lives just amazes me. What a great way for parents to explain the unconditional love of God.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers, Jenni, myself and our families. I already love these beautiful miracles so much I just can't wait to hold them!

-Kristin

"But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever." Psalm 52:8

It's Twins!!!

Me & Thaddeus with our Twins 1st picture

Me & Jenni!

The Twins 1st picture, so in love already!

OMG, oh my gosh, oh my goodness!

What an amazing day. We went to Houston IVF aound 8:00am. Dr. Hickman asked Jenni "well what do you think it is?" She guessed twins and yep she was right. Two PERFECT sacs with perfect heartbeats. He said they were PERFECT!
Their little heartbeats were around 120bpm. Baby B is measuring at 2.8mm and Baby A is measuring at 2.4mm. They are already so beautiful!

We had a celebration lunch with Jenni, her mom, my mom and Myself. Oh and Mackenzie was home from school so she went too ;)

I will never forget today and the moment of seeing those miracles on screen and seeing their beautiful heartbeats. In fact I was so excited that when we got to HIVF I got out of the car and left my car running, haha. Jenni was like ummm Kristin are you going to turn off your car?
After we found out it was twins I literally sat in the parking lot for 30 mins. I laughed, cried, thanked God, talk to family, called Thaddeus 3 or 4 times while he was booking it to work just to share the moment over and over again. Jenni finally asked me if I was ready to go after sitting the car for a half hour.

I am so thankful for these blessings. For Jenni, for my my amazing husband Thaddeus, for Jenni's husband Justin, and our families & friends. I was so afraid after losing Luke that I would never get to be a mom and God has given me that gift again today, thank you Lord. Thaddeus and I have lived our marriage by the verse Pslams 37:4 " Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart" Thank you God for giving me the gift of motherhood. I am so excited to raise these miracles with my family and friends!


Please continue to pray for healthy growth for these babies, For Jenni as her body prepares to carry twins again, and for me and Thaddeus. Our lives changed again today forever, have I mentioned how incredibly thankful we are.....

-Kristin

Update :)

So....yesterday we had our last and final beta! We expected our number to be somewhere around 6,000 based on the doubling times since our last beta....well, it was 23,219!!! God is so good!! :)

Tomorrow, we will be 6 weeks pregnant!!! And, in the morning is our heartbeat(s) confirmation ultrasound at Houston IVF. This is the very first time that we will see the miracle that is truly unfolding before us...I can't even describe how very excited I am!!...and I know Kristin and Thaddeus are too! So...be watching - we'll be updating tomorrow...

I was listening to this song today by Kutless "That's What Faith Can Do"...and it just reminds me so much of our surrogacy journey! That because Kristin and Thaddeus continued to be faithful and trust in God's plan, even after losing Luke...we are here today. And, miracles are happening...that's for sure!! :)

"I've seen dreams that move the mountains

Hope that doesn't ever end

Even when the sky is falling

I've seen miracles just happen

Silent prayers get answered

Broken hearts become brand new

That's what faith can do..."

~Kutless

Jenni

Beta #3

Not a whole lot to post other then Jenni's beta was 1518 today! WOOO HOO! Beta by the way is her HCG levels!!

Thanks for everyone's prayers and support. You all have been incredible!!

9 days past transfer update!

So...the last few days have been filled with quite some excitement!! It all began Saturday afternoon as I noticed some hives on my bottom around my injection sites...continued getting worse Sunday...and by Monday morning, I was having a true allergic reaction. I have hives head to toe and my lips began to swell. I was at work when this happened on Monday and everyone was joking (after the fact) that I looked like the Octo-mom with my new plump lips. So, after taking a few doses of Benadryl and a steroid, it began to clear up. We went first thing to Houston IVF on Tuesday morning and it was determined that I have had so much repeated exposure (this is my third IVF cycle) to the progesterone in sesame oil, that I had a reaction to the type of oil. So, today, was my first dose of progesterone in olive oil...and all seems ok. I was joking with Kristin that you can tell that the baby/babies are Italian - they wanted olive oil...and not sesame oil. ;)

But, while we were there - Houston IVF decided to do our beta HCG. We were a day early, as it's protocol to be done on 9 days past transfer....and on 9dpt - they want your level to be above 50 to be considered pregnant. Yesterday, at 8dpt, our beta was 166!!!! Praise God!!

Tomorrow morning is beta #2...and our heartbeat confirmation ultrasound is scheduled for Sept. 22nd. I just can't wait to see what God has in store!!...and can't wait to see what Kristin and Thaddeus are holding in their arms in May!!! :)

We all feel so VERY blessed...there really are no adequate words.

Thank you so much for each and every prayer!! Please keep them comin'... :)

Jenni

Prayers please!!

Hi Everyone!!
We are needing lot's of prayer. Jenni is having an allergic reaction to the progesterone shots. Which is what gives the baby/babies food until the placenta starts producing its own (Aprox 6 weeks). She has hives all over her body and no her lips are swelling. They have her taking benadryl and we have appointment in the morning for her to be monitored. They will have to switch her to suppositories for the next couple of days (which is not as good) Please pray that Jenni starts feeling better and that the suppositories work well enough for the baby/babies) to get their food.

We will be at the doctor in the morning! Will you keep you posted.

Thanks for the prayers!!

The Latest tests as of today!!

5 and .75 days past a 5 day transfer...getting darker everyday!


It say's PREGNANT!!! 5 days past 5 day transfer!!

We have our first official Beta test at HIVF on Wednesday :) We will keep you posted!!

4dp5dt

Me & Thaddeus after 1st positive HPT!!

Jenni & I after 1st positive HPT. Can you tell I had been crying? :)

Did our first HPT 4dp5dt and we recieved a postive. Seeing those two pink lines has forever changed my life. I cried so hard for the 1st 5 minutes and then cried for 30 more minutes. Feels incredibly surreal.

We have our 1st Beta test on Wednesday. Please continue to pray for the embryos to keep growing.

Thank you God!!
-Kristin

Frozen babies

Well we got the unexpected news that are other two embryo blasts were also 2 perfect 4AA blasts! Oh my gosh this is so rare so I have been told. We were able to freeze our other 2 embryo's for the future.

This journey has been AMAZING. We find out Wednesday, September 8th if Jenni is pregnant and if the IVF worked.

Jenni has been nausea's and has been throwing up :) YAY!!! that's a great sign.

Thanks for your prayers, please keep them coming.

-Kristin

Transfer Day!

Me and Jenni's Good luck socks

Mack's "Surro Sis" shirt

Thaddeus and I with a picture of our Embryo blasts.

Jenni & I at Houston IVF

Transfer went great!!

We had 4 blasts! We transferred two!
One of them was a perfect 4AA blast!
The other was an almost perfect 4AA (2/3) blast. They said it was better then a 4AB and only 1/3 away from a 4AA.

They are pretty sure that we will be able to freeze the other 2 and will let me know today!

Watching this take place was the most amazing experience. I can even begin to put it in words the feelings you experience watching this miracle take place.

Thanks for your prayers! Will send an update in 9 days! Or maybe 4!!

-Kristin

It's here!!

It's here! The end of the beginning and the beginning of the next 9 months!

We started with 9 eggs retrieved, 7 of them were mature, of those 4 kept growing properly. We of course are having a 5 day transfer, yay! That means the embryos were healthy enough to keep growing without the Uterus and we can select the most mature 2 to place in Jenni. The embryo grades were as follow:
1.) 10-cell graded at 4-
2.)8-cell graded at 4-
3.) 8-cell graded at 4-
4.)7 cell graded at 4-

The nurse said our embryos were excellent and they were only expecting 3 of the 4 to do well and they all did, yay! Tomorrow they get there letter grades if I understand it correctly it has to do with their outer shell and fragmentation? The best is 4AA.

Our appointment is tomorrow at 12:30pm. I am so excited I do not think I am going to sleep. Today has been so surreal to me. I can't help but think if baby Luke too. It's so crazy that 7 months ago this sweet little boy was brought into my life. And though he was only here for 2 hours he changed me forever. I am so thankful that God gave me those 2 hours with him, I am so thankful that God used that little baby to change my life, I am so thankful that God picked us for this story. I wouldn't take any of it back for one second!!!


We had dinner tonight at PF Changs with the Bonds(The twins, Jenni's 1st surro family), Jenni's parents and the Jenni, Justin and Kids! Here we go :)

Please pray for a smooth transfer and positive results :)

-Kristin

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.." Jeremiah 1:5

Kristin + Anesthesia = Good Times :)

So.....as Thaddeus and I are sitting in recovery waiting on Kristin...we see her come rolling around the corner on the stretcher. She is just talking a mile a minute...and said SO many funny things while she was coming out of the anesthesia. Thaddeus and I were totally entertained...and we even convinced her she said some things that she didn't...but here are some things she did say:

1) When she first rolled into recovery and saw me - she reached out her arms and said "You made it here" "Hug me - I'm going to cry". The she would start talking to a nurse or Thaddeus and then a few minutes later look over at me and say "You made it here...I'm going to cry". And this happened every few minutes - like I just got there.

2) Every time the nurse would come check on her (which was every few minutes)...she'd ask Kristin "How are you feeling?"....and Kristin's response every.single.time was "So...is 7 a good number of eggs??" So, Barb would respond "Yes, it's a perfect number". Then, 2 minutes later - we'd go through the same script. But, then when we all start laughing - Kristin would ask "What?! Have I asked that already?"

3) Kristin kept telling the nurses (over and over) - "I admire you" "You have such an amazing job" "I need your names so I can write you thank you notes"

4) We had her convinced she promised each person there (nurse, anesthesia, physician, etc) a $500 check in their thank you card. And, the more she started waking up, the more she started getting worried that she really said that.

5) Kristin asked Thaddeus if her eggs were good - and he responded "Yes, they even have the FDA stamp of approval" And, she responded "REALLY?!?!"

6) She even offered to find a dance class at the studio that would be "perfect" for the nurse. The nurse promptly replied "I love to dance, but I've had a hip replacement"...but she mentioned she had a son that was 18 that likes to do hip-hop. So.........then Kristin says "Really?! - we have hip hop at the studio - I wish I could steal him"

OH...we had a good time!!! But, I do have to say - I'm so relieved and so grateful that everything went off perfectly. Kristin did such an awesome job!

So, as of right now, 9 sweet little Sharp babies are growing at Houston IVF and we'll soon hear more news as to how they are growing and when transfer is.

THANK YOU so much for all the prayers!! Please keep them coming! God is ever so present...and we are so thankful!!

Jenni

I am home!

Egg retrieval is done. It only took about 30 mins for them to knock me out, do the procedure and wake me back up. They were able to get 9 eggs. We find out tomorrow how many fertilized and then Saturday we find out their "grade". Transfer will be Saturday or Monday. I am feeling pretty crampy and sore.

Jenni has some funny stories from me on anesthesia. She can share at some point if she would like.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers!

Kristin

Egg Retrieval

My last shot!!

My calendar of meds, DONE!!

So retrieval is tomorrow morning. We have to be at Houston IVF at 8:00am and retrieval is at 9:30am.
There are 3 cases before me. While you are praying for me will you please pray for those other 3 woman. We all have had hard journeys and I just really hope that it works for them as well.

Transfer will be Saturday or Monday but I will keep you posted.

I have two pictures. One of my completed calendar of medications and the other is my LAST shot done last night :)

Last Shot!

Okay so tonight is my last shot!! I get to do my trigger shot tonights at 11:00pm. I have 10 eggs and I believe they are going to take all 10.

My retrieval was pushed back to Wednesday and transfer to Jenni will be Saturday or Monday depending on how well the embryo's grow.

Please pray for my retrieval on Wednesday! This has been such an up and down journey so letting go and giving control to God has been a must.

Incredibly humbled...

I'll let Kristin update about her awesome appointment this morning....but retrieval and transfer will be happening THIS coming week!!! :)

As dates get finalized, I have this overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I am so thankful that God chose me, once again, to be a surrogate. Looking back, my amazing first journey that resulted in the precious baby girls still leaves me speechless...and here I am - on another journey. God had chosen this path for me...and I am so, so incredibly humbled.

This week has been crazy...lots and lots of shots, pills, patches, ultrasounds, and blood work. We've spent alot of time at Houston IVF this week. Kristin and I are both exhausted (and hormonal) but we are SO ready for this coming week!!

God, we are watching your amazing plan unfold. Thank you....

Jenni

Day 30

Had another awesome appointment today, the nurse told me to expect 4 eggs at today's appointment. HAH I had 11 little eggies today :) So I have one more appointment on Friday and they will tell me what day retrieval is and about how many eggs they will try to take. YAY!! So excited that it turned out well again today.

I will be doing acupuncture on Friday as well, they say it makes a difference so whatever it takes ;)

I am feeling pretty yucky though, I have a ton of nasal drainage (caused from the steroid). The pressure from my ovaries is pretty uncomfortable and my boobs hurt. So I am laying down a lot. Last but not least EVERYTHING makes me cry. Today while watching centerstage, a dance movie I have seen a million times, I cried at the end. This morning cried while listening to KSBJ. Cried yesterday because Dr. Mackenzie said Jenni's uterus was perfect...I am crying all the time.

Thanks for your prayers :)

Another God Moment

Okay so these are just getting so awesome.

First off I must say that Jenni's appointment today went great, the Dr. said she has a PERFECT uterus and that her job would be so easy if all of them looked like Jenni's :). Her Estrogen level is in the 700's and it just needs to be 300 for transfer so she is set to go....now we are just waiting on me.
My appointment tomorrow will kind of show us when retrieval will be. Friday will be more definite. But will keep you posted :)

So back to the total God moment. There are 2 doctors at HIVF. Dr. Hickman and Dr. Mackenzie and while they are both more than qualified and amazing physicians, Dr. Mackenzie was the doctor Jenni had for her chemical pregnancy before the twins. So the associated loss gives a bad taste in the mouth when it comes to Dr. Mackenzie. She is SUPER sweet, but if you know my story there is a certain doctor that should have caught my issues and he didn't...so when someone says his name or I see in the office I cringe. But when I am Dr. Norton (well she is just great anyways) Same with Dr. Hickman (he is the equivalent to Dr. Norton) We just LOVE him and her. Anyways we were told he would be out of town this week and next we were pretty bummed. Even contemplated pushing back transfer so that we could have him. But I prayed and prayed and God was telling me to trust him and keep transfer as it is. If I am suppose to have Dr. Mackenzie then I am suppose to, no need in trying to change it myself. Well the nurse was wrong and Dr. Hickman gets back early next week....YAY!!! That means he will be the doctor on call for our transfer. Even though I was content with Dr. Mackenzie a huge feeling of relief came over me and wow it was great.

I am so glad "I" did not try to control this and change the date myself. I am so happy I relied on Him to lead me and wow again He did it.

I am so amazed by God's love and the power of prayer and following His call.

I have an appointment tomorrow.....prayers are appreciated, thanks!!

This is what it means to be held...

So today we had our suppression and linen check along with our labs.

Our report from our nurse is below:

Kristin: You will be starting 150 units of Gonal F and 2 powder vials of Menopur (to 1 cc of water) on Saturday. Please remember to drop your Lupron dose to 5 units as well. I will need to see you back in the office on Monday at 7:30 am for blood work.

Jenni: Your estrogen today is 69.6. Lining is awesome! So you will need to increase to 4 patches. I will see you back in the office on Tuesday at 7:30am.

I had no cysts on my ovaries and my linen was teeny tiny like it should be. Jenni's linen was plushy like a pillow how it should be :)

We were heading to the appointment today and had an AMAZING God moment. We were running about 10 minutes late and listening to KSBJ. I of course was nervous. Anytime I go to HIVF or the OB I associate it with finding out something is wrong.... since when I went in with my appointment with Luke just a normal appointment it turned so bad so fast.

As we are about to exit the song "Held" comes on. If you listen to KSBJ and have ever encountered a loss this song is sure to make you cry every time. But the song's lyrics have gotten me through so much of my journey. As I was crying in the car and Jenni and I were in awe of the God moment. God was just reassuring me that He is walking with me every step of the way. To remember to rely on Him and trust Him. I got to the chorus and really started listening to words and God just revealed to me that He hand picked me and Thaddeus to walk this walk and placed Jenni in our lives. God picked US! To live out this AMAZING story, how amazingly blessed are we for Him to use Luke and that journey to bless us with surrogacy and the amount of people we have touched from just following God's plan. We have received so many emails and messages of support from so many people that it is just the most amazing overwhelming feeling of knowing that we are doing exactly what God has called us to do. Thank you to everyone who has sent us an encouraging message, text, email and for your prayers....they are getting us through every step of the way and we are very grateful for all of it

So if we would not have been 10 minutes late today I would not of had that moment when I needed it. Isn't it amazing how His timing is perfect.

Please continue to pray for us, I start more intense meds on Saturday and Jenni will increase her patches & for the husbands, though their part is small they sure do put up with our hormones well.

Below is the lyrics to Held....a song that has touched my heart and made this journey more understandable.

-Kristin

Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair


This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow


This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held
We'd be held

This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

This is what it means to be held.....

Thank you, God, for those moments...

Yesterday, I was looking for a card for Kristin at Lifeway...and found one I really liked. I read the outside and inside...and thought "This is perfect". So, I buy it...go home and am sitting down to write in it and I look on the inside flap of the left side. I hadn't noticed the verse there before...and it literally gave me chills. It said:

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.." Jeremiah 1:5

I know God is always with us but I absolutely love those moments when God reminds you just how truly close He is. And...this was one of those moments.

Jenni

Pre-heatin' the oven...

Now, the oven is officially on pre-heat!!! I've added the estrogen patches to my list of medications. The estrogen patches help build my uterine lining so that the little embryos have a nice pillowtop to climb into and hold onto for dear life ;) So, now I'm on pre-natal vitamins, baby aspirin, Lupron injections and estrogen patches. Kristin just finished birth control, is on pre-natal vitamins, Lupron injections, and Dexamethasone.

So, what does this mean??? Kristin and I are both beyond hormonal and have had many hormone overload moments. But, I am so thankful that it's something we are going through together and we can sit back and laugh at ourselves (after the fact)...I really am just so thankful. I know that Justin and Thaddeus deserve a huge medal of honor after this. :)

This Thursday is Kristin and my first "pre-transfer" appointment. Kristin will have a ultrasound to check her ovaries, blood work and exam. I'll have an ultrasound to check my lining and blood work.

I do have to say that I am so very proud of Kristin. Every night, we have been meeting at 9:30 so that I can do her Lupron injections...welllllll, last night - Kristin did her own. That was a huge step...and I'm so proud of her. She did an awesome job... :)

We are getting so close to retrieval and transfer...and, I just can't wait to watch God's plan unfold before our eyes. I know He has some amazing things in store!

Jenni

Day 17

I am officially off the birth control. Decreasing my meds to only the lupron shots and the dexamthasone pills. Jenni starts her Estrogen patches this weekend :) Tonight Jenni and I were examining my needles (okay really just me) and WOW some of those suckers are huge. Good thing needles don't scare me.

In the mean time I am pretty irritable, bloated and my skin is breaking out like I am in jr. high again...loving the extra hormones.

Mack (Jenni's little girl) drew me and Jenni a picture tonight. Yep it is Jenni giving me a shot...love that kid :)

Until next time....
Kristin

Day 14

I started my Lupron tonight, yay!!

So my meds consist of Lupron, Dexamethasone, and Desogen. Jenni right now is doing Lupron and should start her Estrogen patches on Sunday. Very mixed emotions right now. Excited about everything starting and then slight nervousness thinking OMG it is here. I will leave you with a picture of our combined meds. Thanks for the continued prayers. We appreciate them so much!
-Kristin

Day 5

Found this on a surrogacy website... Could not agree with it more!

I Will Be A Wonderful Mother

There are women who become mothers without effort,
without thought,
without patience or loss,
and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.

I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

-Author Unknown

Day 1

Yay! I started my period. So the protocol right now is to get updated calendars tomorrow. I then start the birth control and Lupron shots a few days later. I have such mixed emotions. Happy because I have been waiting for this moment for 6 months and nervous because OMG it is all beginning. Shots, retrieval everything :)

Thanks to everyone who has been praying for us and praying for my period to start (no prayer is too small right?)

Stay tuned!

Hope and Faith

I am suppose to start my period tomorrow the 19th, praying it comes so that I can start my Lupron and other drugs. Jenni has been on hers for 2 weeks and counting and Thaddeus finished his Meds tonight. If I start tomorrow we are looking at Egg Retrieval possibly the week of the 9th and Transfer the week of the 16th :) All tentative dates of course.

In the mean time please pray for the following: Jenni's Migraines as a side effect from Lupron, for my period to start this week, our husbands as they continue to put up with crazy hormonal wives, Mackenzie and Mason Jenni's kiddos they are such troopers :)

Also can you please pray for me. Today was a tough day in missing Little Luke. I cry when I see women in the grocery store with their babies....However I watched a show on preemies tonight and I am SO THANKFUL that Luke did not have to suffer the way the majority of preemies do. For that I am forever thankful. I am feeling very thankful for my friends this week. I can't even begin to say how much they get me through my sad episodes and my friends that are pregnant. They have been so mindful of everything we have gone through, thanks ladies! I am very thankful for my relationship with my Lord I can't imagine getting through what we did and going through what we are about to with out Him and a little....Hope and Faith!

Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him. Psalm 37:3-5 & 7

Here we go!!!

Exciting news!! I am on my third night of Lupron injections...and tonight is also my last birth control pill! With my last journey, I had the most HORRIBLE side effect (daily migraines with vomiting) from the Lupron - so I'm praying this time Lupron decides to play nice...but I'm not holding my breath!! I don't mind the insomnia, hot flashes, random crying spells, etc - it's just the migraines that are hard to manage (especially because you can only take Tylenol while on the IVF meds)

But, I'm SO excited and SO ready to help Thaddeus and Kristin get their baby/babies safely here...that I don't mind suffering through a few weeks of migraines. I know God has His hand firmly resting on me, and He won't give me more than I can handle.

OK...so it's official - please start praying for my husband. He's the poor guy that has to live with me during all of these hormonal times. He truly is the wonderful man behind this soon-to-be pregnant belly!! And, while you are at it...pray for my kids, family and friends too... :)

Jenni

Are we crazy?! Nah....

So...last Tuesday, we (Kristin, Thaddeus, Justin and I) met with the psychotherapist at Houston IVF! I had done all my psychosocial testing with my first surrogacy through Houston IVF, so I didn't have to repeat the standardized psych. testing that a gestational surrogate goes through before being approved to be a carrier. *Thank goodness because it was hours worth of computerized testing and meeting with the therapist*

Anyway, this meeting was basically to determine that we all realized and clearly understood what we were about to embark on....and we do!! The psychotherapist was very impressed that we had thoroughly discussed all the "difficult issues" and we all completely 100% agree!! She said she had an excellent feeling about our match...and wished us the best of luck on our journey!!

Jenni

Hello....from the oven!!

Hi there!! This is Jenni... :)

So...where do I even start?! A few years back, I witnessed an open adoption taking place. (As Kristin stated, I'm a nurse) I was in the room when the adoptive parents arrived, and I watched *in awe* as the birthmom handed the adoptive mom their new baby; and I watched as these adoptive parents stared as this new baby - with tears rolling down their cheeks. Amazing? yes. Breath-taking? yes. But, there really aren't words to describe how the world stood still in that hospital room - in that moment. I stopped, prayed, and thanked God that this couple were finally parents...and I also prayed for the birthmom - that her journey would be easy. So...I decided, I wanted to change someone's life, like that birthmom just did. So, I prayed...that God would use me. Somehow. And...a few weeks later, He answered me. Loud and clear. I was to be a gestational surrogate. Wow! Really? No..God, I don't think I can...I'm not sure I can carry and bond with a baby and hand that baby over to it's parents. But, He showed me...step by step that this is what I was called to do, and this was His plan for me. And, besides being a mom myself, being a gestational surrogate has been the absolutely most amazing experience EVER!!

I met my previous intended parents (who are such dear, dear friends and extended family to us now) in November 2007. We had our first IVF attempt in June 2008 and that sadly ended in a chemical pregnancy. So, after waiting for everything to line up correctly, we had our second IVF attempt in April 2009. We transferred 2 embryos and...after a completely normal twin pregnancy with no complications (Praise God), I delivered their twin girls via scheduled c-section at 37.5 weeks on December 18th, 2009. December 18th changed my life forever. In that operating room, I watched as the girls were each delivered - my husband and I witnessed a family being created. And, I saw our sweet friends become Daddy and Mommy....I don't think there was a dry eye in the room. Seeing them now, as a family, is beyond awesome! Seeing these sweet girls who are adored by their Daddy and Mommy (and many other people)...just fills my heart with amazing joy and gratitude. I am so very, very thankful that God chose me.

So, here we are....on to journey #2. We prayed God would show us His plan in regards to me doing another surrogacy. And, He did...and it was, and continues to be, amazing. We met Thaddeus and Kristin in February 2010 through a mutual friend. And, God has not only given us another set of awesome people to help...but He has given us a rare, genuine friendship. I absolutely can't wait to see what God has in store for Thaddeus and Kristin, but I know it's going to incredible!!

Start saying lots and lots and lots of prayers for us!!! On July 4th, I start Lupron (a daily injection)...and that's the true beginning of this journey!! A surrogacy journey is quite a rollercoaster...but a rollercoaster that I'm so very blessed God threw me on! :)

Jenni

Not TOO LATE

Well it was a close call. Okay boys don't read past this point. But I had to start my period by the 21st in order to keep an August transfer and I made it just in time by starting the 19th. Never knew that starting my period on a specific day would make such a difference.

So we are on to start Medication July 4th for Jenni and July 11th for me. We have our psychiatric evaluation next Tuesday, so lot's of prayers would be appreciated. They just have to make sure we aren't all crazy for going through this :)

If you watch the Little people on TLC, our Dr. from Houston IVF was on there and he helped explain a lot of of the surrogacy process.

I think that's all for now!

"Ketchup"

So to catch everyone up...
What a four months it has been. That's right on June 3rd it will be 5 months since little Luke was born and passed away.

Thaddeus and I just wanted to share what was going on in our life currently. Since the baby passed away the doctors have told me that I will never be able to carry a baby full term. The risk of the same result, neonatal death due to preterm labor caused from an incompetent cervix and placental abrution is so high we don't want to even chance it. So Thaddeus and I were planing to adopt and really had been praying for a direction for God to take us.

Well that's when we met Jenni. Jenni is a Labor and Delivery nurse and through a miracle from God we were introduced. My OB wanted us to meet as Jenni is a surrogate but there was no way legally she could introduce us. Through a third party we ended up meeting anyways and when our OB find out she was shocked that we had actually met. Jenni is a Gestational surrogate. Her and her husband have 2 kids and Jenni recently delivered twins for a Doctor in Tomball. So to sum it up Jenni will be the gestational surrogate for me and Thaddeus.

A gestational surrogate is someone who carries another persons child/children. The baby will be conceived from my eggs and Thaddues sperm through Invitro fertilization. This a long process as we went to court for a pre birth order in which the judge granted us the pre birth order with out assigning us a home study (the first time he has waived it for 1st time surrogacy cases) go through a long calendar of medication as well as an egg retrieval procedure from me and a transfer of a fertilized egg(s) to Jenni. My procedure will be fast and easy, they put under local anesthetic and retrieve as many eggs as possible. Once they are fertilized they want them to bake for 5 days and then they will transfer the eggs into Jenni. We had a doctor's appointment in March and my tests came back good showing that I had 18 mature eggs, almost double then what they want :) We will do the transfer in August and that will put the baby/ babies due in or around May. There is an increased chance of multiples when doing IVF but we are just praying for healthy (one, two how many He wants).

I know this is a lot of detail but I want everyone to know the whole process and it is so hard to call everyone and tell them so we just decided to keep a blog so you can keep up with our process.

I do ask that yall don't mention it on my facebook as my students don't know. They have already had a tough year with the baby passing away I am planning on waiting until Jenni is around 4 months pregnant before telling the kiddos.

We are really excited and looking forward to everyone meeting Jenni, her husband Justin and Mackenzie and Mason her kiddos. I have added the link to her video and it has her 1st journey on it. It is SO amazing... and if you ask her why she has done it she will say this is what God has called her to do! Thaddeus and I are so blessed, happy and excited but still need lot's of prayers as there is never a guarantee.

JENNI'S JOURNEY


Thanks everyone for your support through all of this and we just wanted to share this with everyone!